Life is just like a race...

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

blog came back up due to bored-ness at work.....
and also i have no one to be my listening ear....
right now serving NS at SPF...
at alpha div...cantonment....
my posting shouldn't be called that name also....
i have to do loads...and its all coming...
and rite now i have to enjoy this relax-ness???until its over...

its bad enough I'm pressurized by my job....
they have high expectations for me...and i don't know why in the world would they set very high expectations for me....
furthermore with the recent case of the trainees...and we were all fucked up for no reason....
and for that kind of pressure I'm earning so little....
a whole bunch of event coming up and I'm so not ready...and I'm scared i cant meet the expectations...
though to look on the bright side oh well...i realize what is reality now...

secondly home ain't being good to me...
with all the stares that i get everywhere i walk around the house...
i don't even know what i do...
and every single time i go out to work...no more hand shake and kiss to the cheeks....
wth did i do wrong mom?
I've been trying so hard to impress and make u n dad proud but to no avail....
i guess i shall grant your wish and sign on...

like I've said...its bad enough this 2 factors been pressurizing me...and its pushing my stress level to its limit....
now money is the factor...earning so little...i can only do so much...and i cant even survive...
I'm like drowning with no one trying to even save me...
but no one understands...
in fact people still pestering me to have fun....
yes i club...but that's one way for me to release my stress....
playing instrument and beating up the punching bag aint doing any good anymore...
and that money i use to club is from my first NS pay...
and i can only go for a few....
yet people say i keep going there...
fuck it aitez...once the event starts i wont even have time to enjoy...

the smiles and laughter from me are all a cover ups for my sorrows...
for my problems...
cause i don't want anybody to see that side of me...
say what you want to...
say I'm emo...
but only god knows what I'm going through right now....
and nobody know how pressured and stressed up i am right now
sometime being alone without any friends and minding your own business is better than having people around you....
-------bye------ :'(
Can we pretend that airplanes
In the night sky
Are like shooting stars
I could really use a wish right now

-i should have kept my mouth shut and not suggest anything-

Race's record:10:51 AM

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